5: Civic Duty

     I get up and walk around the couch to see what Sama wants.

     "You've done a real great job building this house and been so helpful with teaching us how to help ourselves," she begins, and I wonder if she's buttering me up for something.
     "Thanks, and it was great having all the help building."
     She looks at Yadira who sits happily watching the fire. Then Sama's eyes return to me. "Could I speak with you outside about something personal?"
     "Er... Sure." We step out the back door.

     Before I can ask her what this is about, she begins straightaway. "This is going to sound like it's coming out of nowhere, and please forgive me if I offend you. I've never done this sort of thing before, but I thought I'd try anyway."
     I don't think I've ever seen Sama this unsure of herself. "Okay? What is it?"
     "I want a baby."
     "Okay?" I ask again.

     Then I think I start to understand. "And does this have anything to do with me?"

     "Yes. I want you to father it. If you don't mind."
     And there I was just thinking earlier how the tribe would ask me to do that very thing. "What about Asa?"
     "If I have another, I'll ask him. I thought I'd ask you now before... Before any further developments between you and our sister."

     "So you're aware."
     "I'm not blind."
     "And even though you're NOT blind, as you say, you still decide to come to ME for this request."
     "I'm being practical."
     Even though I was ready to go earlier as I sat on the sofa with Yadira, I'm anything but now. The very idea repulses me that I'm asked AGAIN to perform a 'service' merely to increase the human population. "No."

     "I don't see why. I've read all about it, and I can put forth all the effort required. I'm just asking for your participation."
    "You don't know what you're asking for, Sama." I have to get away from her. My stomach turns.
    Then I jump when I feel her arms encircle me from behind.

     "Come on, Rohan. Like I said, I'm asking now instead of later when things might be weird. Nothing has started between you two. I want you to help me with this."
     My voice is incredulous. "You're asking me to father your child!"
     Hers sounds happy. "Yes!" Pause. "But that's all. Other than being another family member, I won't ask anything else from you. I'll raise it on my own."
    I unwrap her arms and turn around, but she still sticks close to me.

     "This is crazy, Sama." Or at least it would be if we lived in a normal world.
     "Maybe. If you look at it like that."

     She continues, "But really, I'm just being practical. We're such a small family; we need to mix our genetic material as much as possible. That's really all it is." She's so serious. Yes, this is a serious matter, but it should, by all rights, be one where love was involved. And no one loves Sama.
     Fuck. Now I feel sorry for the woman. "I'll think about it."

     I walk back inside, and I feel a strange pain in my chest. Sighing, I go and retake my seat next to the young goddess.

     "So what did she want?"
     Why can't it be YADIRA asking me to father her baby? Although it scares me to think of her going through childbirth, I'd love to have ten kids with her.
     Do I tell her what Sama said?
     She'll find out anyway.

     "She wants me to be the father of her first baby." I say it like it's the most ridiculous idea ever.
     Her face falls. "Oh. That's... That's... um, flattering?"
     "I told her I'd think about it, but I don't really want to do it."
     She won't look at me now! "I... think I should probably go fishing. I mean... Yeah. Fishing." She gets up.
     "I could come along." I leave it open like a question.
     "No. No, no, I, uh, just need... to be alone right now." She walks out without looking back.
     Fuck!
     She's upset? Does that mean she's hurt? If she's hurt, then... Fuck! I need to talk to her!
     I stand up.
     No. Let her sort herself out first. Then I'll talk to her.
     I leave her be for the rest of the day. At dinner, everyone acts like everything is normal, even if her smiles look a bit strained and Sama's looks feel creepy.

     Exhausted, I return home. Alone. So alone. I'm talking to Yadira tomorrow. Somehow. Somehow, I'm going to let her know how I feel. I'm going to go crazy if I don't.
     In the meantime, I need a little stress relief.

     Serious stress relief. It'll help.

     I fantasize about Yadira coming in here and demanding I be hers alone. I comply, of course. Then it's reeeeaaaaallll niiiiicceeee.

     I rest my other hand on the couch where she'd sat, right where she'd sat. The sound of my breathing is only interrupted by the hooting of an owl outside. My hand fists at that spot on the couch, grabbing. I wish she were really here like in my fantasy.

     "There's an owl outside!!!"