6: Bliss-filled Hell

     "AGH!!!" I yell in surprised, embarrassed fright, quickly pulling my hand out of my crafted shorts. Panting, I ask, "What?"

     I'm still trying to catch my breath.
     "An owl!" Her eyes are wide in fear.
     "Okay?"
     "You don't understand. I'm terrified of owls."
     "You are?" I blink. "Why?"
     She doesn't answer. "Please, would you go and scare it away? I can't sleep if I know it's out there."
     I scratch the back of my head. "Right. Okay. I'll give it a go." Standing, but not totally upright, I vacate the sofa, and she takes my place.

     I keep my hand over the front of me, hoping she doesn't notice. She doesn't, but it's only because she's freaking out about the damn owl.

     Before I locate the owl, I hurry and 'finish myself off.' Better able to focus now, I find the nighttime nuisance. Sure enough, it's flitting around Yadira's little camp. I wonder if it has a nest nearby.
     Just in case she looks out the window, I make a show of scaring away the feathered fiend. It does fly off, but I don't know for how long. Then I return to the house.
     When I sit on the sofa, I notice she's shaking. I gently hold her shoulders.

     "Hey." I rub her arm in what I hope is a reassuring way. "It's gone, but I honestly can't say whether or not it'll be back. But even if it comes back, I don't think it'll bother you."
    "That's where you're wrong. It showed up last year. It starts acting like I'm invading ITS territory when I was there first. It likes to fly right at my hair. One time, when I was fighting with it, it scratched my arm up." She quickly shows me a small, faded scar. Then she puts her head in her hand again and sounds close to tears. "And now it's back!"
     "It'll be okay." Will it? I've always admired owls; it's why I have one with the wings spread on my back.
     "No, it won't! I even had to cut my hair last year because it kept getting in the way of me fighting it off." She sniffs.

     I reach up and touch her hair. It's as soft as rabbit's fur. Resisting the urge to put my whole face in it proves near impossible, but I somehow manage it.
    She turns her head.

     "What am I going to do?"
     The backs of my fingers now brush against her cheek, which is somehow even softer than her hair. Gods help me.
     She continues, "Normally, I'd just run off to sleep on Sama's couch, but I'm..." She looks at the fire. "She's not exactly my favorite person right now."
     My voice cracks. "Then..." I clear my throat. "Then stay here."
     She turns more around now. "Really? You don't mind?"
     If I don't kiss her soon, I'm going to spontaneously combust. "I don't mind."
     Her face and posture wilts, and she rests her head on my chest. "Thank you."
     FUCK! I scream in my head.
     "I know it sounds silly," she says, "but would you stay with me on the couch?"
     Hells yea. "Sure." Somehow we manage to get comfortable.

    And so I finally hold the goddess Yadira in my arms. All I have to do is lift her chin and tilt my head down and her mouth is mine, but she distracts me.
    "How did you get all your tattoos? Do they mean something?"
    I'd swear it sounds just like a child asking for a bedtime story, and that makes me pause my more ardent intentions. I clear my throat. "Well, the owl I have on my back I got during the war." She acts surprised I fought, and I tell her how I spent my early teen years as a nighttime sniper because of how well I could see in the dark--before the sickness changed that. "They gave me the nickname 'Hoots.' I'd almost forgotten that. It feels like a million years ago."
     "And what about here?" Her fingertips run along my chest, and I start getting hard again.
     I take a deep breath. "The tribe gave me that one and the one on my leg." Then I answer her next question. "The one on my arm is when the tribe was a street gang. It's a decorated 'S.'"

      "Hm," she exhales out her nose and totally relaxes.
      This is too perfect. It's killing me. She feels completely safe in my arms, so safe that she fell asleep. If I tried to seduce her right now, it would actually ruin this moment.
      Damn it.

      My body is furious with my mind right now. It's screaming at me just to take her, but it'll have to get over it.

     Because I want more than the blissful pleasure I can find between her legs, so I'll tolerate the hell I'm in from resisting base impulses.
     Well, maybe a little kiss? She's asleep; she won't even realize it.

     I plant a feather-soft kiss between her eyebrows.
     No. When I finally DO kiss her, I want her to realize it. I want her to want it.
     I rest my head back on the arm of the sofa and sigh, my eyes traveling over her face.
     'Sama isn't my favorite person right now,' she said.
     Fuck. What am I going to do about that?