13: Incorrect Assumptions

Orion

     Since I'm not good for much else 'cept manual labor, I frequently offer my babysitting services to an exhausted Sama. The wee little tyke isn't much trouble at all, and I find myself getting attached to the little fella.

     I suppose I just want to feel needed. And tiny Zane is certainly the neediest of the bunch. That, and he's an excellent distraction to keep me from brooding.

     My life sucks donkey bollocks dipped in manure and marinated in piss for good measure. Sure, like everyone else, I've lost my family, but truth be told, I left them as a lad to go join the Skeeves when they were a street gang. I hated my parents. My dad was a drunk, and my mum, addicted to heroin. I can only assume they're dead. Good riddance.

     Time with the Skeeves went about as okay as it could've been. I changed my name to Orion because I have an innate sense of direction. (Okay, Polaris would make more sense, but I liked the sound of Orion better.) I never get lost, not on city streets, not in the woods, and apparently, not in the middle of ocean either.

    Now THAT was an unplanned trip. Reck only got more maniacally insane the older we got, and when I caught word that Zuri was going to pull a runner, I jumped at the chance to go, leaving almost everything behind. Including Corin. My best mate. Damn, I hope he's not furious, but he was hanging around Reck a little too much. I couldn't give away our plan.
     Sama's front door opens, and in walks Rohan. He doesn't look pleased to see me as he walks over to the bookshelf, grabs a book, and starts reading using a patch of moonlight.

     I give Zane a little smirk. Rohan HAS a bookshelf (Sama throws books at everyone) in his house as well as lanterns he could read by.
    I speak quietly to Zane, "Looks like yer dad got the boot again."
    The bairn blows a very spitty raspberry, his latest discovery, and I chuckle. Then I gently place him back in his cradle. Turning to Rohan now, I think, This is going to be fun. My spirits lift. I'm gonna have a go at this supposed 'husband.'

     I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on Yadira. It was as if my entire soul shook. I had no idea women could even BE that beautiful. I couldn't stop staring if I tried. I was making her uncomfortable, but she was certainly less than she would've been had I not been able to control myself. At that moment, all I wanted in the world was to touch her face. So simple.
     But I was denied the chance as the not-worth-her Rohan quickly pointed out they were "married." MARRIED! What the blooming fuck?

     "Trouble in paradise?" I say the cliché phrase with glee.
     Rohan puts the book away. "Why don't you just fuck off."
     He makes it too easy! I can't help but laugh.
     Don't misunderstand. I like Rohan. I've known him what feels like eons. He lets things get to him far too often. I've always done what I could to get him to lighten up.
     Now, however, he's become my rival, and I'm fighting an uphill battle, swimming upstream against the current, et cetera. The beautiful flower Yadira loves him, and it makes me crazy.
     What would've happened had I met her first? Or if she'd met us both at the same time?
      "Aw, come now, Rohan. Maybe I can offer ya some advice?" Right. I laugh internally.
      "What are you even doing here?"
      I gesture to Zane. "Babysitting."
      "Well, I can take over now, so you can bugger off."

     I mock a shocked expression. "And abandon my post? I canna do that to Sama. That wouldna look too good for her to come down in the morning and see I'd swapped duties." I pause. "However, if ya needing someone to look after Yadira, ta! Don't mind if I do." I move to get up.
     "Hold it, asshole," he says predictably. "You know damn well that's not what I meant."
     I chuckle quietly. Zane has gone to sleep, I think. "Stay? Go? Make up your damn mind." I make a show of sitting back down.

      "Fine," he says angrily, "stay. And since we're both here, out with it. Why did you do it? Why did you mess with her head? Because fuck me if I understand it. I haven't got a clue. It seems to me, you wouldn't want to do anything to upset her since you're on this kick of trying to make yourself look better than me."
     My face finally falls. That moment in the garden with Yadira wasn't my brightest.

      My biggest obstacle was their marriage, such as it was. Flirting with and pursuing someone's girlfriend is much more different than pursuing someone's wife. I'd foolishly thought I'd been making enough headway to go to the next step of my 'plan,' not that I'd actually mapped it out. If I could but dissolve the marriage, I could better justify being enamored with the lovely Yadira.
     But my meddling blew up in my face. She actually loves Rohan, someone who hasn't been an adult for THAT long. Of course, if I stop and think about it, Yadira hasn't either... if she actually is in the first place. That's not what matters, though! What I'm saying is if she wants a grown man, why not have one who's been one longer?
      Nothing changes the fact that I was blooming idiot, though.

     He watches me. "So you agree you were being an ass."
     I sigh, but that doesn't mean I've lost my resolve. "I stand by what I said. She's not yer wife. But the last thing I wanted was to hurt her feelings."
     "She's my wife if she says she's my wife," he counters.
     "I disagree." There's no point to this, and I'm tired. I get up and move to the sofa, lying down on it, rolling my back towards him, and pretending to sleep.

Sama

     Vik has been absolutely amazing. He's brought everything Rohan brought us and more. He's smart. He's fair. He's kind. Patient. Hard-working. Caring. Everything we need.

     And he... does funny things to my stomach. It's almost a nausea, but it's not like he nauseates me.

      Quite the opposite. Breathe, Sama. Haha. Imagine: me, feeling all girlie like a teenager with her first crush. I tell myself I'm just being silly. He couldn't possibly see me as anything else but this 'leader' he's proclaimed me to be. I didn't ask to be a leader of our original three, then four. It just happened. Yet he acts like he needs to 'report' to me everything he's doing.

     Like today, he's announced he's finally finished with the new forge.

      "It looks amazing, Vik." Of course, I've been watching the progress of the building, doing my best not to stare. With the washtub and clothesline nearby, I readily volunteered to do everyone's laundry. Every day. The construction really does amaze me, though. I remember he had the biggest smile on his face the day he found the bellows in a nearby abandoned settlement. They were in very good condition, too.

     "I still can't believe my luck with the bellows. I'd assumed I'd have to invent something to do their job, using whatever I could find."

     Invent. Yes, he invents, like the different uses for tools he was able to find at the abandoned places. "Well, it would seem the gods have favored you. Or it was mere luck."

     He laughs quietly. "I'll take either. Or both."

     I smile. "Now you can really get started with everything you want to do."

     He complained it took him longer than he would've liked in order to build the forge, claiming the summer sun is brutal on his skin. The weather has been terribly hot this year and some years previous, much hotter than it was here during my parents' time. I faintly remember my father once joking that we had two seasons: winter and August. The climate change fixed that. It affected the flora around here for a while. Several types of trees and other plants wilted in the horrendous heat while others seemed to come out of nowhere and flourish. Nature finds a way; so will we.

     "Yes, I can try. I'm worried fuel will be a problem, though. I don't want to cut into your cooking fire."

     "I'll manage." I chuckle, "Maybe I can come cook over here."

     "I would hate for you to be burned by whatever I'm working with," he tells me seriously.

     "I'm kidding."

     "I'm not."

     Oh. Okay. In other words: 'Back off, Sama. I don't want you hovering around me, interfering with my work while you stare at me in all my shirtless glory.' It's fine. I get it.

     Previously, I'd wondered about his relationship with Zuri. At first, I thought he and she were together, but then I noticed his attention was more drawn to the child, Amina, than with Zuri herself. Besides, Zuri and Asa appear now to be quite taken with each other. When Vik saw them together and didn't show any sign of jealousy, I began to rethink their connection.

     My smile leaves my face. "It's fine, Vik. I won't bother you." I turn to leave.

     "Er, before you go, I..." He pauses, and I turn back around to see what he's on about.

     He gets the strangest expression on his face, like he suddenly forgot what he was going to say or can't figure out how to say it. I've noticed he's the type to think carefully before opening his mouth or deciding on a course of action. It's one of the ways I think he's smart. But this, I have no idea. He almost looks afraid. His face has certainly gotten redder.

     He swallows, but it doesn't appear to help. "I... wanted to lead an expedition to the old city across the channel. I need... I HOPE to find a blowtorch or something I can use as such. Plus, I'm curious about what else might be useful we could bring back with us."

     This is something Asa and I have talked about for years, which led to his numerous failures at boat building. When Rohan came, that idea was shelved.

     "Are you... asking my 'permission'?" I ask somewhat incredulously. Again with the leader thing. 

     "Well, I more was asking your opinion." 

     My first reaction is to beg him not to go. "We were there as children. It was dangerous."

     "I am no mere child, Sama."

     No, you most certainly are not. "I swore I saw a tiger. Who knows if it's still there."

     "I've dealt with wolves and wild dogs, and I once encountered a bear. We mutually decided to part ways without fighting, but--"

     I interrupt. "But that's not a tiger! They're the biggest in the big cat groups. I know it makes no sense for there to be a tiger here of all places. Maybe there was a zoo. I don't know. But what if it had babies and now there are dozens of tigers roaming the streets?"

     He stops me by unexpectedly taking my hands.

     He takes a breath, and I find myself jealous of it. "I promise I'll be careful. The thing about cats is they are typically very active in marking their territory. But at least now I'm warned." He peeps up at me. "We'll take every precaution, and if things appear or smell dangerous, we'll return home until such time as I can make better weapons."

     MUST he be holding my hands right now? I whisper, "Okay."

     I make a move to pull my hands away, but he only tightens his grip with a cheeky grin. When I look at him quizzically, he starts talking again.

     "That's not all I wanted to discuss."

     "All right, but must you hold my hands while doing it?"

     "I suppose it's not necessary, but I still want to."

     "Okay. Then... discuss!" This is a VERY unexpected turn of events. If I didn't know any better, Vik is FLIRTING with me. But that couldn't be so because it's, well, me.

     "I have learned that Rohan is the father of your infant son."

     "Correct." I try and fail to free my hands. Teasing me like this isn't very nice, and if he doesn't stop it soon, I'm going to make incorrect assumptions.

      "Does he mean anything to you?"

      Again, INCORRECT assumptions. "He's a very nice asset to the family."

      His jaw clenches, and his brows come together in an expression I've learned means he's trying to decide what to say next. "Are you two romantically involved?"

      I feel my bottom lip quiver. This is mean. Let's just rub it in my face now: Nobody is interested in Sama. "No. I asked for his... help... before he and Yadira got involved with each other." Yeah. I thought I was being so smart about it too. After all, I'd learned there were other people out there. My repopulation idea didn't have to be that way. I pull my hands again, and I almost get them free.

      He snatches them back. "Am I so repulsive to you that you can't abide me holding your hands?" Huh? "I'm sorry. I... I'm not very... good at this." He starts to shake, and his face turns red again.

     I blink. Am I NOT making incorrect assumptions? I've never seen this from him before.

     "And now I'm just making an ass of myself." His voice drops to a whisper. "Sorry." He releases my hands and spins away without looking at me, headed to the woods past Asa's house, his hands fisting in his hair.