17: The Land of Weird

Sama

     After I escaped into my house earlier, Vik didn't follow me. I suppose I can understand why. Really, how many women can say they've had a baby yet never been kissed? I didn't used to let it get to me, trying to be content with having Zane, but I was kidding myself. And earlier, I must've looked like a fool.

     I've probably scared Vik off. That wasn't what I wanted to do, but I couldn't bear feeling that stupid!

     The evening arrives, and I'm staring at the useless television set (I've only kept it in an attempt to remember life before the end of the plague) when Vik walks in.

     Oh no. Here it comes. He's finally going to figure out exactly how, in many ways, I'm nothing but a child.

     "Mind if we talk?" he asks.

     "Okay." Pause. "I mean, yes. I mean, sure, we can talk." I tense as he sits down next to me. So it's not that he didn't want to talk to me, it's that he was trying to plan ahead with this conversation first. 

     "I owe you an apology, first of all," he begins. "I honestly had no idea."

     "It's okay. How could you know?" Why do things have to be weird? I hate this. I strangely want him just to shut up and kiss me again. Then we could forget the strangeness of earlier. But I also understand and appreciate that he wants to clear the air.

     He lets out a sigh of relief. "Exactly. It's just... Are you really telling me Rohan didn't kiss you?"

     I pout. I suppose he has a right to know now. "He didn't. He didn't even want me. The only way I could make it work was to tell him to think of Yadira." It was so embarrassing then, but it's especially now that I have to retell it to Vik. "I was hoping it would only take the one time, and it did."

     He gets quiet, and I can imagine it's because he's deep in thought over what I said. My emotions start at a downward spiral. I, in essence, convinced Rohan against his will. He could've easily fought me off, and I don't know why he didn't.

     I take a breath, and, not able to stand the silence, I begin talking again. "It's just that I had a plan. There were the four of us, and I'd thought it would be smarter to..." Oh this is so awkward. "... mix our genetic material as much as possible so the next generation could have the best start possible. I doubt Rohan would've stood for a mix with Yadira and Asa, but I'd cross that bridge later if I had to." I wipe a tear away. "I know, I know. I was stupid. I'd already heard from Rohan himself that there were more people in the world, that this little scheme of mine wasn't necessary. But as far as I knew, no one else was going to show up."

     "Sama, why do you view yourself as unattractive?"

     The question takes me by surprise. It's the last thing I expected him to ask after telling him about my old plan. He must be able to read my expression because he continues.

     "I'm not concerned about the plan you just told me about. It's a very logical approach, but that's just it: logical. I admire your shrewd decision making, but how, with all your intelligence, can you not see that you are also someone to be desired?" Anger simmers behind his striking green eyes, and the effect makes my insides shudder--but not in fear. Vik is amazing. All in one person comes someone who does his best to think before acting and speaking yet I feel that is a learned response to the furiously passionate emotions brewing inside him. And right now they're brewing so closely beneath the surface that should I tap into them, I would be consumed in seconds.

      I need to answer his question. "I never..." heard anyone tell me that before. "Well, I..." never read anyone of my plain description in any of my novels. He might... He might be right? I suppose I have a nice body. After all, the baby weight came off reasonably quickly. My hips stayed wider, but he's already mentioned how he likes that. My breasts stayed bigger, but that's because I'm still nursing Zane. But they're still nice, I guess. I can't shake that my face seems plain to me, though. But maybe it doesn't matter what I think. The incredibly-hot redhead next to me thinks I'm beautiful.

      I feel like the clouds of my life have parted, letting in the sun for the first time. "You... You really think I'm beautiful?"
      He relaxes into a soft smile. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. Do you finally believe me?"
      I smile back at him. "I'm trying. It's like a completely new thing for me. I've always seen myself as plain."
      That fire burns in his eyes. "Sama, one day, I will stand you in front of a mirror and explain in great detail exactly how gorgeous you are and what you do to me, but for right now, I'd like to focus on your lips."

      I expect him to pounce like he'd done earlier today, but he doesn't. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's TOO gentle. I could easily pull away, but I don't want to. His actions don't really make sense from what I saw a moment ago in his eyes. The only explanation I can achieve is that he's trying to prove to me that he doesn't always have to be demanding. Am I weird for wanting him to be?
     Rohan and Zuri (carrying Amina) suddenly walk in, making Vik and me separate like a couple of kids caught by their parents. They see us, and they both start grinning in their own ways. I can't look to see Vik's reaction, but I feel my face burning as I get up and set out supper.
     Orion walks in when the rest of us are almost finished eating. He looks in an odd mood, and he merely thanks me and grabs something before walking out again.
     Rohan acts agitated that Yadira hasn't shown up, and he says he's going out to look for her.

     Vik helps me put away the leftovers, those that we can save, in our glorified-cupboard-that-was-once-a-refridgerator. As we do, I ponder how intertwined my family really is. I have had Rohan's child, and Zuri has had Vik's. Now Rohan and Yadira are together and Zuri and Asa are together. I presume children will come of those unions at some point. The next generation--

     Vik stops my musings. Unlike this morning, I fall right into it. In fact, I fall so into it that I want it to escalate, and he moans when I really start kissing him back. I want to rip his shirt off him. What are we waiting for anyway?
     And I can tell he wants it.

     He suddenly pulls back, panting, and I consider biting his lip. "I should go," he says quickly between breaths.
     "Why?" I see no reason why he shouldn't sleep with me.
     He winces. "It's not like I don't WANT to stay, but... the last time I just jumped in bed with a woman didn't end so well for me."
     Oh. He's afraid I'll end up pregnant.
     Maybe he's not as serious as I thought he was.
     "Okay." My face must be falling because he feels the need to continue to explain.
     "I want you to know this is more than lust, Sama. That's the only reason."
     What's the big deal? It's just sex, right?
     He leans forward and says quietly into my ear, "Tonight, I want you to think about how beautiful you are. Because I know I will."
     This is crazy. "You could stay."
     He kisses me again, hard, but I know he's not convinced. "I'll see you in the morning."

Yadira

     What is happening to me? My body's gone! I'm floating!?

     I'm flying. Weightless. A glowing speck moving quickly. So fast.

     And then I'm not.

     I don't know if I land or magically appear...

     ...wherever this is.

     Is it nighttime? Daytime? There's no sun. No moon. I don't even see any stars!

     "Hello?" My voice echos... kind of. It's weird.

     What happened to me? This is like from that book I read. Sama said it was science fiction. I didn't really understand it then, and I certainly don't understand this now.

      Am I on some kind of alien planet? Well, at least I can breathe. I look around. There's a floating island in the distance.

      Did I eat some kind of poisonous mushroom?

      Am I dead?

      Just as soon as I start to panic that I'll never see Rohan or anyone I love again, I feel myself getting whisked away once more. I sense my body this time, even if I don't feel it. It's like I materialize somewhere else, and all I can see is a hand in front of me.

     "Eat this."

     "Why?" I ask.

     Then I hear another voice; it sounds raspy and old. "She's not ready."

     The first voice speaks again. It sounds like a younger man. "Yes, she is."

      I can't turn my head, but I can move my hand to take the shiny thing. So I do. It strangely feels like a soft... nothing. I bring it up to my face.

      "Go ahead," the friendlier voice urges. "It will help you."

      EAT the shiny soft nothing? Is it even possible?

      "She doesn't know how," raspy voice says.

      What does it mean I don't know how? I'll show it!

      So I do. At first it tastes soft. Then it tastes like nothing. DID I eat it?

      "Good," the friendly voice says, and I get whisked away again.

     "Okay. This is getting old," I say to no one... or whoever is listening. I SENSE someone, or something, is nearby. Like everything else here (wherever here is), it's weird.

     So where did I get plopped down now?

       I feel drawn to a kind of glowing rock, like it's on fire. "Pretty."

       "Thank you."

       "AH!" I cry out and jump back, almost tripping on this dress I just realized I'm wearing. I don't know which to be more shocked about: my sudden makeover or the fact that a ROCK just spoke to me in my head.

       "I prefer crystal to rock if you don't mind." 

       "Okay. A rock with an attitude." I pause and then quickly correct myself. "Crystal. Sorry." Did I just apologize to a rock... crystal? 

       "Apology accepted." 

       "Um, thanks." When does it stop being weird? Maybe I'm dreaming. That's probably it. I sigh with relief. It's a dream.

        "You've eaten. Now have something to drink." 

        "Okay?" Whatever. "Where?"

        "Behind you. The fountain." Did it just point? It doesn't move, but I'm sure I sensed a pointing from it. This has got to be the most bizarre dream I've ever had.

        "Okie dokie." That's it. If this isn't a dream, I have completely lost my mind.

      The water looks clean enough. I dip my hand in it. It feels like nothing is there. Of course. Why should it? With a sigh, I gather some water, cupping my hand to bring it to my lips, but as soon as my hand leaves the water, it's empty. And dry.

       With a scowl, I try again. Nothing.

       "How am I supposed to do this?"

       "With the lily flower, of course." 

       "Oh. Right. Of course." Why not? Dream logic after all. Wearing a kind of miffed and dubious expression, I gather water in the flower. This time it doesn't disappear when I bring it away from the fountain, and I drink.

      It tastes wet. And like nothing.

      "Good." 

      Before I can respond, I'm whisked away. Again.

      Only this time I'm falling. Fast. They dropped me! I'm going to die!

      I hear my breathing. I feel sand under my feet. I'm no longer falling.

      "What was all that about?" I ask no one.

      "Go home. They need you." 

      Did the sun just talk to me? "Wait. Who are you?"

      I get no answer.

      "Hello?"

      Humph. Guess whoever it was clammed up. I look around. 'Go home,' it said. Wait. Where is that? Who needs me?

      Who am I?
----------------------------------------
A/N: I apologize profusely about our journey into the land of weird. This has been planned since chapter 2, but more stuff than I expected got in the way. I promise I'll try to keep the weirdness down to a minimum. Well, I'll try.